Misadventures in trying to give things away on the Internet. Also: dicking around, vacations, text messaging, ridiculously humid days, lying about your name, setting fires in your front yard, people at the post office, bubble wrap, the customer is usually wrong, the Recycler, that TV show about guys up in Maine buying and selling and bartering out of a weekly classifieds paper, selling guitars, blacksmithery, things like soap, riding the wave of change, the middle class, being frozen or suspended or whatever they do to preserve our flimsy bodies after we die and trust.
Let’s talk about clothes. We all wear them, we all love them. You do love them, don’t you? Along the way let’s also mention humidity, the people who really run shit, guacamole, Chinese boots, caves and castles, going topless, Victorian era women, flappers, frozen steaks, Comic-Con, Captain America, mouth-breathers, subcultures, fishermen, black jeans and Babylon.
It’s time to get to the bottom of Charles Bukowski’s “10 year drunk” and many other Bukowski myths. Also, taking it easy in Greece, Pearl Harbor, meditation, BMWs, expensive wine and a veritable slew of new Bukowski books due out later this year.
It’s the 4th of July, what better day to talk about independence. We’ll wave the flag and maybe talk about some other things, like the President, Marc Maron, Rolling Stone and the Rolling Stones, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Joan Jett and the Runaways, the Sex Pistols and Green Day, blowing shit up, refusing to kiss the king’s ring, weasels, politicians, tough bastards, the Maldives, the homeland, military regimes, censorship, learning a new language, flags, explorers, colonists, Stonehenge, Vikings, fracking, a McDonald’s in Denver, rainforests and deserts, the plains, a pile of beanbag chairs, working until the day you drop dead, food that cooks itself, North Korea, corn on the cob and plastic. Among other things.
TED, changing the world one robot at a time. Also, Big Brother, camping, Comic-Con, the Rolling Stones, the south pole, smallpox, selfies, throwing shade and ice cream on my nose.
I love autobiographies and I love rock and roll in all its many hairy permutations, so what could be better than reviewing a stack of autobiographies written by musicians? That’s a rhetorical question, I’m going to do it anyway. By chance I may also speak of Rachel Dolezal (again), Compton’s Most Wanted, White Indians, survivalist cults, Saturday Night Live, jumping off a cliff after work and prophesies foretold.
Thrill to the new sound of me talking about Rachel Dolezal, dreadlocks, our old friend the Internet, Bob Marley and the Wailers, the Vocoder, the tinny clang of the 80s, electric guitars, triggers, metal kids, mistakes, Gramophones, fuzzy noisemakers, the Mellotron, Guitar Center, Louis Armstrong, transcendence, cocked wahs, bagpipes and momentum.
Well, I have a little chest congestion, so forgive the slight wheezing as I talk about President Obama, the Los Angeles Clippers, fast forwarding, neighbors, construction, This Old House as porn, people who are good at what they do, working on Sunday, the history of sticking windows into walls, the ceiling of the Sistine chapel, chatty Cathy, the Los Angeles Philharmonic, corrugated fiberglass, Styrofoam heads, evidence of a grow house, Ben Franklin, Mark Twain, Gandhi, bus stop ads, Adam Sandler's idiotic baby talk characters, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, Tracy Morgan, Marc Maron, racism, Bob Dylan and Joe Dirt.
Starring Mary Ellen Mark, Bukowski's LouJon press books, book art, letterpress, getting your hands dirty, kissing the paper, manual typewriters, nostalgia, home tanneries in Brooklyn, synthesizers, late 50s Les Pauls, craftsmanship, Kalamazoo Michigan, robots, green wood, perpetual motion, Detroit steel, making rich people more rich, buying Bukowski's boyhood home, gentrification, turning all of Los Angeles into one big Universal back lot, Giza, slaves, lunch trucks and the Library of Congress.
If you listen very carefully you may also hear me say something about ripping CDs, Google Play Music, The Philadelphia train wreck, the World Trade Center, Hiroshima, Jesus H. Christ, Antonio Villaraigosa, death, The American Journal of Psychiatry, communism, chicken pot pies (oh wait, I didn’t talk about that, I’m just really hungry right now), religion, watermelons, the 1%, Vinnie Barbarino and some other things that don’t have anything to do with anything.