It's the most wonderful time of the year, right? So let's talk about Christmas, the fine family of Unilever companies, year end lists, crying kids and sweaty dads, nostalgia, shoveling brains, the disco 70s, the characters on Mad Men, the old man sitting in the corner, prisons, carnies, dead Blue Whales, paying an extra dime to go behind the curtain, Trilby hats and Presidential bids.
Let's talk about when it's time to give up. And while we're at it we may as well talk about professional hand models, deep tissue massage, the counterculture, Oprah, the rising tide that raises all boats, how lazy poets are, sure fire money-making schemes, a better way to store sweaters, Sumi-e painting, Japanese hammers, bible class, how GOD HATES FAGS, monkeys disassembling atomic bombs, lord Vishnu, doing nothing, the circle of life, shedding hair, tattoo parlors and even a Chirpwatch update for old time's sake. Now how much would you pay?
Including thrilling tales of riding bikes up the side of mountains, financing the Napoleonic Wars, "monetizing" every human, sending the nanny to CVS in a chauffeur driven Bentley, Mork from Ork, the last can of beans in Pasadena, mental illness, speaking to the unborn, sashaying in the halls of Congress, marking the passage of time, Pizza Hut, Steely Dan and United States Savings Bonds.