In this episode I call your parenting into question, try to be dignified, compare myself to famous explorers, scratch my head over kids who wear costumes for no reason, call you into question for letting the kids wear costumes for no reason, change diapers, witness a spoiled prick playing Minecraft, call home schooling into question, wonder out loud whether leaving home and striking out on your own is even normal, insult Americans and Canadians and Europeans, call India and China "scrappy," blame your children's lameness on you, talk about being a good pilgrim, racism, Hindu gods, laugh at those of you spending your lives trying to "protect" children, I "feel the Bern" and try to explain why that whole thing is a pointless joke, and I may also mention Thunderdome, reality TV, Patti and Fred "Sonic" Smith, quote Joe Strummer, insinuate that the Oscar ceremony is repetitive and idiotic, and give you a long overdue chirpwatch update. You might wonder how I can fit all of that into a 30 minute show. The answer is: I'm an expert. Don't you try it. You'll hurt yourself, and we wouldn't want you to get hurt. You're too special.
Good is great, perfect is not, also, having the Zika virus, taking a vacation, having a stroke at work, Mat Gleason’s “Modern Art Blitz” and Internet TV shows in general, Jay Leno, join the professionals, McDonald’s mozzarella sticks, striving, astral planes, Internet millionaires and other numbskulls, rules, prog rock creeps, hurdy gurdys, confetti, swing, NASCAR, injection molding, sound engineers, ricocheting around the beat, smelling the sweat, zines, mimes, hiding in plain sight and test patterns.